Seek First the Kingdom: A Deep Dive into Matthew 6 33-34

Matthew 6:33 (NIV) - Seek the kingdom above all else and live righteously and he will give you everything you need.

What I used to think that meant: God is going to send money, give me another car, and provide me with the husband I desire. Also, me trying to speed up His timing and how things needed to happen now, like it was on my time!

What that attitude had me doing: Thought I could be in control of things, being impatient, being ungrateful, and throwing fits like I was a toddler. 

With a lot of prayer and my being intentional about who Jesus was, the Holy Spirit gave life to the scriptures I was reading and helped me see it through!

What God really did: He changed my mindset, restored the brokenness in my heart, taught me patience, showed me I had authority over the enemy, taught me how to take care of His and my children, showed me self-care and self-love. He had me praying for my abusers (forgiveness) and took care of every organ in my body.

Change my mindset - Survival mode had to be deactivated, and he showed me how to breathe and allow him to do his job. My old ways had to perish.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV) - Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here.

Romans 12:2 (NIV) - Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will.

Where renewing the mind meets a restored heart, so much beauty is created in every area of your life. Be intentional about your growth.

Taught me patience - A season of stillness does not mean He was not paying attention to me, but He was building character in me, courage in me, and patience.

James 1:19 (NIV) - My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

In life, we move too fast to be able to hear God in our stillness. I understand now that it's okay for God to put you in isolation for growth because we won't do it in our own understanding. He will always know what's best for us in every season.

Restored the brokenness in my heart - He gave me dreams of others and understanding of what happened in their lives and brought calm to my soul. He reassured me of his love all the time by showing up at all the right and wrong times of my life.

Psalm 147:3 (NIV) - He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Think of a puzzle, people don't always finish it the same day they come back. They rest and start off where they left off. When it comes to our hearts, it has to be broken in order for it to be restored, and that takes time. This is why God's grace is sufficient because he knows what we've been through.

Showed me my authority over the enemy - He showed me the access of His word in the Bible and He built the energy in my words, showing me how to speak them.

Luke 10:19 (NIV) - I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.

At first, I didn't know the access that I had in anything until God trained me up in the way a child should go. His love is unfailing.

Taught me parenthood- He taught me how to steward over our children. He always took me back to when I was a teenager and child and how to do things differently through him. He also made me aware that our kids weren't going to repeat my trauma for the next generation.

Psalm 127:3 (NIV) - Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.

To be honest, we as parents are not going to know the answer unless he is the center of our lives. I learned that leaning on my own thoughts and actions only brought out the lack of what my parents didn't do. Our children don't deserve our past but the future God has for them.

Showed me self-care and self-love - He showed me how I’m delicate and his daughter, whom fathers protect and take care of. I stopped drinking (my liver and kidneys have value) (my heart has value and purpose) (my brain has value and purpose because it sends signals to every part of my body).

Ephesians 2:10 (NIV) - For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Things can become idolizing when we allow the enemy to be in charge of our lives. I remember my pastor saying, "Are you going to hire the enemy or God?" It's a choice, and what I chose to do was say "YES" to Jesus.

He had me praying for my abusers - He was showing me what forgiveness looked like, which is part of mending my heart to trust in Him and His ways.

Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV)- "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins".

I had to release to God my parents and others in my life in order to fully trust in Him. The only way through forgiving is Jesus. The beauty in all of this is eternal life with our Maker. Remember, forgiveness is not a one-stop shop; it's every day.

When God's word ended at Matthew chapter 6 verse 34 - “So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” When you go back to the beginning of Genesis, God didn’t create the earth in just one day because beauty and great things take time.

As I continue my journey, I'm still learning every day about all these things, but I know one thing: I have a parent that is raising me to be great, and I want to say, "Thank you, Jesus."